This Is It, Really?

Promises

thisisitreally — Sun, 24 May 2009 20:03:48 +0000

Told myself when I woke up this morning, “Only 30 minutes on the computer.” That was over 3 hours ago and now my day is pretty much shot. Blurgh.

Interesting Day

thisisitreally — Fri, 22 May 2009 06:32:15 +0000

Today was my first day on Prozac. I’m on a very small dosage to help with my severe case of PMDD, so I’m really looking forward to experiencing some positive results in 10 days. We shall see…

On another note, our CFO got fired today. Totally weird. Our CEO came around and made the announcement, which I thought was much nicer than hearing the news through an emailed press release. At any rate, it truly is for the better as our CFO was a total slime ball and quite frankly this should hopefully improve morale. Yay!

Updating

thisisitreally — Tue, 19 May 2009 23:05:28 +0000

I am busily trying to migrate my blog over from MySpace in an attempt to eventually cancel my account. Crazy, I know, but with Facebook, Twitter and WordPress, among other sites, quite frankly, there’s only so much social media that I can handle. That being said, I could not find an application / code / tool to help with this process. So I’m moving everything over manually… which is kind of fun, since it allows me to read things that I wrote 4 years ago. Interesting how so much has changed, yet a lot remains the same.

At any rate, all posts previous to this one come from MySpace. It may take me a week to get 4 years worth of material moved, but it will eventually happen. Conversely, everything from this point forward is current. All of it remains relevant – in one form or another.

Geronimo

thisisitreally — Tue, 19 Jul 2005 13:41:56 +0000

I went to go see Shannon McNally last night at the Fez. I felt bad because there were only about 50-60 people there, but that didn’t stop her from fucking rocking. She’s just SO good. Her music is so beautiful – I mean her album, Jukebox Sparrows, has gotten me through A LOT of shit. But what gets me the most is her voice. God damn, it’s beautiful. It’s just so unique – like Emmylou Harris, but really different. I often think of Emmy’s voice as being angelic, whereas Shannon’s voice is more haunting. But haunting in a good way.

I know some people (who shall remain nameless) think she’s a phony acting all southern when she’s clearly from Long Island… but I don’t know, it works for her. I think her music is about as genuine as it gets, and it breaks my heart that Capitol Records dropped her like a piece of shit. If they would have done their job, she would be huge right now.

Anyway, I was going to say something to her after the show considering we know some of the same people (Mark, Ginty, Gary, Neal, etc.) but decided to just let it go.

But, interestingly enough, something else happened at the show last night. I’ll let you read about it here. (Yeah, I may or may not have posted that to craigslist. I’m a dork.)

Currently listening:
Geronimo
By Shannon McNally
Release date: 28 June, 2005

At Least I Won the Croquet Game

thisisitreally — Sun, 17 Jul 2005 22:37:55 +0000

Well, today sucked. I was at my parents and my mom was in one of “those” moods. I don’t really understand why she gets that way, but it’s pretty much happened every weekend since I was a little kid. She just gets foul even when she’s not being provoked. And it’s not hormones! She’s freaking old!

Anyway, while my dad was at the store she comes in to me and just fucking goes off… mostly about my dad. And I’m sorry, I’m just not sympathetic. It’s not that I’m on my dad’s side, it’s just, I don’t like it when either parent talks shit about the other one… only funny thing, my dad never talks shit about my mom (or rarely does) which is weird, because there’s A LOT to complain about.

At any rate, I couldn’t take it, so I went to the music store. I always know when I’m depressed if I physically seek out music. So after a couple of hours of procrastinating, I figured I should return to the house. When I got there I related the story of my mom’s attitude to my dad, and apparently she heard me and “went into the bathroom and cried for 15 minutes.” Well, being frustrated with that type of guilt trip (which I get on a continual basis) I left the room, only to overhear my mom say to my dad, “I just need to remember that Nicole is not my friend. She is my daughter.” Now, I know that she was making the comment in the context that it’s inappropriate to talk poorly about my dad with me, but still, to hear her say that kind of thing was sort of upsetting. I mean, I consider my parents two of my best friends. Ugh…

So then tonight we walked over to the Conrad’s for a barbeque as it was Lyndi’s last night here in town. I just had so much fun with her these past two weeks… and tonight was great with all of us kids playing croquet in the backyard and dueling each other on Super Mario Cart in the basement – just like when we were kids. These past two weeks have reminded me of what it’s like to be happy – something I don’t think I’ve been for a long while now. But now it’s back to the same old shit, so um, that’s pretty fucking awesome. I’m really psyched about that. (Right.)

Brass In Pocket

thisisitreally — Sat, 16 Jul 2005 17:31:14 +0000

My parents had a doctor’s appointment about two weeks ago with their new physician. Basically after evaluating my dad’s weight, the amount of insulin he takes a day (a lot!), and how high his blood sugar still is, the doctor was like, “I think your body is rejecting the insulin. And if you don’t go on a low-carb diet soon, I doubt you’ll live another 10 years.”

Um, okay.

So after a week of binge carb eating, our whole family has gone on a no carb/low carb diet. I mean my mom and I don’t need it or anything… we’re just going on it to be supportive of my dad (HA! I wish that were true.)

Anyway, I was on a low-carb diet about two years ago, and actually lost about 30 pounds, but well, I eventually fell off of the wagon (Thanks to a visit to my fat ass boyfriend’s house right before Thanksgiving. “Oh, just eat what you want this weekend.” Yeah, thanks a lot, you fat fuck.)

At any rate, this time around seems to be easier, except that I’m so extremely tired! Every day this week I’ve taken a nap. I haven’t taken a nap since college. So I’ve started taking vitamins and I’m trying to drink more water, which seems to be helping, but damn, I’m still exhausted. But so far (it’s only been 6 days) I’ve lost 6.5 pounds, which seems sort of ridiculous and unhealthy, but I’m not going to complain.

I really don’t have a goal weight in mind, but this is what I do know: I was Chrissie Hynde for Halloween in 2003. Today, my stomach hangs out of my rocker t-shirt that was a part of my costume. So, if I could just fit in that shirt again, damn, I’d be so happy… I think I’d probably be Chrissie Hynde again just because I could.

Pleasure and Pain

thisisitreally — Fri, 15 Jul 2005 12:01:34 +0000

Well, it’s official.

I am in love with Ben Harper.

Move over Laura Dern: that man now belongs to me. Or not. But seriously, holy shit, what a musician. What showmanship. What a fucking show! Definitely in my top 10. I mean, I’ve seen Ben in bigger venues before, and it was good. But this was different… I mean, to be standing literally 10 feet away from him in a tiny club, it was just ridiculous.

Of course, the show obviously had it’s downfalls. Everyone was packed in like sardines, I thought I was going to die of thirst, I kept eating the hair of the people in front of me, and I had to witness a mother molesting her teenage sons… but other than that, wow, what an evening!

And on top of it all, Lyndi got hit on by a singing lesbian at the Boiler Room after the show. All in all, it was a great night!

Mmm… This is not from last night. But damn!

Retarded Squirrels

thisisitreally — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 18:46:12 +0000

My parents have a retarded squirrel living in their backyard. It’s been eating the paint off of their wooden deck, as well as my mother’s fake geraniums. Today my dad actually saw the squirrel jump from a tree over to the roof. Needless to say it missed, causing it to fall flat on it’s face.

Mrs. Robinson

thisisitreally — Mon, 11 Jul 2005 18:35:11 +0000

Just an update to an earlier post… so apparently I’m a stalker. I just looked up the kid that lives next door to my parents, and he has a profile. Not only does he have a profile, but he apparently has 284 female friends. And I may or may not have told my parents yesterday (after seeing him doing yardwork in the front lawn) that “He’s going to get it, and I’m going to give it to him.” (Only joking, of course.) Anyway, but here it is: http://www.myspace.com/gooty. He’s cute, but why would a kid from the suburbs be obsessed with 50 Cent and G-Unit? That’s just really unfortunate. What is wrong with today’s youth?

Foo La La La

thisisitreally — Mon, 11 Jul 2005 15:43:31 +0000

The other night I came home and ended up watching a re-run of Saturday Night Live. It was from about 6 years ago with Lauren Hill as the musical guest, and damn, I had forgotten how good she is. She sang Doo Wop (That Thing) which goes:

Girls you know you better WATCH OUT
Some guys, some guys are only ABOUT
That thing, that thing, thaaat thiiiiiiiing
That thing, that thing, thaaat thiiiiiiiing

I thought that was a pretty interesting choice of song considering what I had just encountered about one hour prior. I just feel so bad. I mean, no one wants to get fucked in a bathroom that smells like African birds. NOBODY! And she seemed to be such a nice girl, there by herself, I just feel like I should have warned her as to what was coming. Because I KNEW it was coming as I’ve seen it so many times before. Oh well. Girls these days need to learn to fend for themselves, I guess.

Speaking of fending for oneself, I have to go the Wonder Ballroom again. God damn it. DJ Z-Trip is playing a gig there in August, so I do believe I’m going to have to make an appearance. He’s also playing on one of the stages at the Nike Run Hit Wonder race, but I think I’ll skip that one. Why? Because I tried to go to the Starbucks behind my apartment yesterday morning just to sit and contemplate life, and the place was packed with all of the runners practicing for the race! Apparently it was like the cool-down spot for the runners, and no offense, they were suffocating! So I was forced to walk a WHOLE 6 blocks (!) to the next nearest Starbucks. How tragic. But I don’t know what’s more pathetic… the fact that I left my Starbucks, or the fact that there was another store only 6 blocks away.

But the young people of today are no longer drinking coffee – they’re becoming a tea drinking culture! Right?? Right. At least, that’s what I told the Director of Marketing today at Stash Tea – who knows if she bought that. I was definitely rusty this afternoon at my interview… I basically inadvertantly told the lady that their website sucks, that I’m probably going to go back to school soon, and that I don’t know what Buy to Click advertising is (when in actuality I do, I just blanked out. Shit.) Huh. Cool.

So, I’m not trying to be pessimisstic, but needless to say I won’t be completely shocked if I don’t get the job. And I’m okay with that. Shit, I’ve been rejected so many times in my life – guys, friends, jobs, etc.- that it’s come to be expected. I’m numb to the whole thing. However, that being said, I AM very hopeful that Steve Reischman calls me soon. Steve books all of the shows at the Zoo and the Aladdin and I talked to him the other night about him possibly needing some help… anyway, he asked for my phone number, which was cool. We shall see.

Currently listening:
Rebel Soul Music
By Martin Luther
Release date: 21 September, 2004